88 Ways to Know If You're Chinese

Got this through the email today....this has been around quite awhile. Must have gone round the world and back. I thought it quite funny... My comments in blue.

1. You look like you are 18.
I wish!!! Probably need numerous NIPS and TUCKS to look 28!

2. You like to eat chicken feet.
Yes. I do. Don't you like foong-chau when you yum-char???

3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
Only the fins. Head I don't have the skill yet. Perhaps when I become a grandmother!

4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror.
Errr...this one definitely a NO.

5. You sing karaoke.
"I just called...to say I LOVE YOU".... of course I sing Karaoke!!

6. Your house is covered with tile.
Mmmmm... my own house IS covered with tile.

7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease.
Not really. Since maid has to mop and clean-up everyday.

8. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
YES!

9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote control.
No lah.

10. You've never kissed your mom or dad.
NOT True.

11. You've never hugged your mom or dad.
NOT True.

12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
SPOT ON! Am as blind as a bat!!!

13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
Why coke bottle glasses, ah??

14. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.
Near enough

15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
My hair so thick and long; how to stick up leh? But S1's definitely does!

16. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
No harm in trying, right?

17. You love to use coupons.
If there is a discount. Why not?

18. You drive around looking for the cheapest petrol.
Petrol fixed, right?

19. You drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.
Not anymore. Driver drops me right in front of the lobby. ;-P

20. You take showers at night.
Why? Cannot ah?

21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
Of course lah! Mark-up is horrendous, okay! Go and buy from 7-Eleven next door lah.

22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.
Oh. This one I mind. So many people.. NO privacy lah.

23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you are male.
Not applicable leh.

24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
Never got the hang of doing this.

25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
Wah! You so cleber to know this one!

26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable.
This one don't agree. SAFETY FIRST!

27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
Me scaredy-kat. So not that true...But if you give me YOUR Money, then different story. :-)

28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can reuse the paper.
Only if the wrapper is very very nice!

29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
NOT True.

30. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
NOT True.

31. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. That's why you need the vinyl tablecloth.
NOT True. We use another plate.

32. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
How true!! Just cleared them out today....as one of the freezer conked-out yesterday. *Bleah*

33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
No dishwasher.

34. You have never used your dishwasher.
Already told you NO dishwasher.

35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
No need. My Aqua dispenser dispenses both HOT and COLD water.

36. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
NOT True.

37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
Not tin foil lah. How to save? But grocery bags are really handy as garbage bags!

38. You have a piano in your living room.
Nope. But in my mom's living room, there is a Grand Piano. Does that count?

39. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).
Sometimes lah... depending on what I ate. But if at home, I don't. I just go brush and floss my teeth.

40. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
Oh! This one I cannot do. Pen will probably fly-off.

41. You hate to waste food.
Who doesn't??

42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
I'm a good planner. So don't really have leftovers....

43. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
Mmmm.... I do have ONE set of Tupperware (given to me by my aunt).....

44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
No lah. Not so cia-latt.

45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take ever time you stay in a hotel.
Hahahah...Wanna see my stash that I took from Awana Kijal??

46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These snacks are always dried and include dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid.
Not so wai-sik. And I don't like those preserved fruit thingys.

47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
Don't you? But now as the maid cooks it, donno if she even wash the rice leh....

48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
Don't think he thinks that.

49. The dashboard of your Honda is covered by hundreds of small toys.
Mmmm... I used to have a HONDA. But I am never one who puts toys and thingamajigs on the dashboard. I cannot stand those dolls that have their heads shaking all the time. They just drive me NUTS.

50. You don't use measuring cups.
I do!

51. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
Nope. With a fork. It's easier.

52. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
More of a tea-mug.

53. You always look phone numbers up in the! Phone book, since calling information (*69) costs 50 cents.
I do try to look it up first!

54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
Not really. I just use H's phone (paid by company maaa...) Hahhahaha

55. If you are male, you clap at something funny and if you are female, you giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth.
Don't ever recall H clapping. But I have to admit, I do giggle while placing a hand over my mouth. Why ah???

56. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.
Of course! Why want to watch a film where the mouth of the actors all look weird and not synchronised to the dialogue?

57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao...

58. You've learnt some form of martial arts.
Not personally. But H, S1 and S2 have some form of martial arts training.

59. Shaolin actually means something to you.
Siu-Lam-Chi

60. You like congee with thousand-year-old eggs.
Pei-thann-sau-yoke-chok

61. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.
Not really lah. Lazy to peel. I remember our family dinners, mom never orders shrimp when dad is not around.... Heheeheh. Because he is the one that peels the shrimp for all of us!

62. You never call your parents just to say hi.
Got lah.

63. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
Not true.

64. When you're sick, your parents tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods due to yeet hay.
Now, I'm the one that tell my boys not to eat all these yeet-hay stuff. Plus I will boil barley water for the boys.

65. You know what yeet hay is.
OF COURSE!!

66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only 10 feet apart.
I never did that!

67. You use a face cloth.
No. I don't.

68. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat places.
Hahahah...Not anymore. Gastric problems, you see.

69. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
Not in this country.

70. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again.
Why Coke bottle glasses, ah?

71. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
Otherwise, how are you going to chop the whole chicken into pieces? Or the pai-kuat??? That reminds me, I need to go out and get a new one!

72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
Quite true.

73. You know what moon cakes are.
How many months more before we get to buy a box?

74. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
Not toilet paper sale over here....but used to go to those warehouse sale and stock up on diapers, sanitary napkins and what-nots.

75. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
Excuse me!!! We are rather refined people!

76. You iron your own shirts.
Why? What would the maid do then? Sleep?

77. You play a musical instrument.
Nope. But S1 and S2 learning the sax and flute respectively.

78. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
Nope. Body cannot afford it. Shapewise and Healthwise....

79. You've eaten a red bean popsicle.
Nelsons? Or Kings?

80. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes.
Cannot be leung-sau-hoong-hoong.

81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
I'm so kiam-siap. I won't fight!!! Hahahahah

82. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.
How do you know????

83. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.
Hahaha... Not I. But I know many people as-mentioned. :-)

84. You don't tip more than 10% at a restaurant, and if you do, you tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
H always shakes his head when I tip....with a "chann-hai kiam-siap lor" remark. :-)

85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
Should be bitter gourd. And yes..it's quite nice cooked with chicken and black bean sauce.

86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
Now married already, can eat the last piece of food on the table!!!

87. You know why there are 88 reasons.
Fatt-tatt lah!!!

88. You see the truth in this and then send it to all your Chinese friends.
I'm going do with a twist... I'm gonna turn this into a TAG. Tagging the following:

wmd

Laundryamah

MommyOf3Angels

Shern's Mom

Mott

Judy

Misha's Mum

bp

mama pumpkin

Sting

Dancing Queen

SAHM


And anybody who wants to have some fun in this!!!