Friday, February 13, 2009

Birth Order of Children

Got this via email...... Think it's so funny!

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: 
You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.    
3rd baby: 
Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_______________________________

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: 
You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: 
You don't bother because you remember that last time breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby
: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
__________________________

The Layette
:

1st baby: 
You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: 
You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: 
Boys can wear pink, can't they?
_____________________________

Worries:

1st baby: 
At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: 
You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: 
You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
_____________________________

Dummy:

1st baby: 
If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: 
When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: 
You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________

Nappies:

1st baby: 
You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: 
You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: 
You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
_______________________________

Activities:

1st baby: 
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: 
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: 
You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
___________________________________

Going Out:

1st baby: 
The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: 
Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: 
You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
____________________________________

At Home:

1st baby
: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: 
You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: 
You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
___________________________________

Swallowing Coins:

1st child: 
When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: 
When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: 
When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his pocket money.

8 comments:

Leena said...

Haha..so funny and true.

Jonzz said...

LOL, this post had me chuckling

bp said...

i used to think it's coz the 3rd time parents are "tidak apa" because they are seasoned moms and dads... but now, i can tell u it's more becoz where got the time, not to mentionthe energy?!

ok, now u know why i cannot laugh too loudly at such jokes... hehe!

NomadicMom said...

hehehehehehe.....

NomadicMom said...

hehehehehehe.....

Constance Chan said...

this post is soo hilarious! and so true.. hehehe thanks for sharing. makes Mondays bright in the morning for me :P

NomadicMom said...

Constance - I thought it was too good to just chuck it into the "thrash"...

LZmommy said...

Oh dear... I hope this is not going to happen to me :)

Lilypie 6th to 18th Ticker
Lilypie 6th to 18th Ticker