Sunday, June 13, 2010

S1 is Coping Well....

Continuation from here.

As I mentioned, I was keen to speak to the counsellors to seek some advice on S1.
H and I arrived at school at about 1.20 PM. There were a few counsellors on-duty and I managed to speak to an external counsellor – a psychologist. She indicated that Every individual will deal with the traumatic incidents differently. Some will totally shutdown, some will cry incessantly, some will be angry, and some will be talking about it incessantly. She said that S1 is still in the Shock Phase but assured me that S1 is behaving normally. The fact that S1 could draw me maps and talk about the incident, he is processing the factual part of the incident. He has not shutdown. He just hasn’t dealt with the emotional part yet….and she said “it will come”. I will have to look out for signs and symptoms (which she gave few examples) of post-traumatic stress.
What do I need to do?
Emphatise. Listen. And if required, seek external help.

While I was halfway talking to her, S1 walked past, gave me a hug and said “I am going to attend one session of counselling each day….so I can miss at least one class every day…hahahha”. The counsellor said to me that this was a good excuse for him to get the counselling he needs! I agree. I am sure he will have flashbacks, nightmares etc. Eventhough I wasn’t there, I woke up Saturday morning by a dream – I was running away from flood waters in a forest. Adoiiiiiiiiii…

There was another term that she brought up – Survivor Guilt. Which is also NORMAL. We all think about it, but don’t dare verbalize it. But my friend did… she said “we all feel sorry and sad for the parents but can’t help saying ‘thank God my child is safe’. And you feel guilty for saying that”.

I spoke to her for quite a while, and then she 'summoned' H over. Though he went to school with me, he sat at a table on the other side of the foyer. She 'interviewed' him and asked him what was his feelings blah blah blah. I supposed she wants to ensure that the parents of the kids are also handling the situation well.

As normalcy is good for the kids….the parents of S1’s friend went ahead with the scheduled paintball birthday party on Saturday. As half the kids at the party were on the trek, the chaperons (the dad and an ex-Marine friend) were told to be vigilant on the kids’ behaviour. My S1 must have had so much fun that he had a sleepover at his friend's house.

Still no news of Sei Young. From the last published update from Jakarta Globe - at least 1000 people are searching for her. I was at school for more than 5 hours yesterday to help fold ‘Missing Person’ flyers into origami cranes (In Korea, cranes signify Longevity). One of the parents owns a light aircraft and has volunteered to scatter the flyers over hard-to-reach areas around the Pancawati area. The flight was scheduled for early Sunday morning. Hopefully, she has been saved by remote villagers, that will see the flyers. If I am not mistaken, a fund is being set up for Pak Ade's family.

Meanwhile, the school is starting to debrief all the kids that were in the forest at that time...and S1's turn will be tomorrow morning. When I told him the time for his debriefing, his remark was "ahhh..good. Math at that time!".
Teenagers!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

your last paragraph has a typo - you mean S1, but typed H

v

NomadicMom said...

V - Corrected liow.

Lilypie 6th to 18th Ticker
Lilypie 6th to 18th Ticker